Parenting aspirations

- Model growth mindset, cultivate it in kids. Try not to praise static characteristics like beauty and intelligence but instead praise the process of achieving them - self-care, curiosity. We've talked about having beautiful children, but I feel uncomfortable with that now. I want kids who are confident in who they are and how they look, and make an effort to stay in shape, take care of themselves, etc. Same with intelligence - I hope we can pass on your toughness and resilience, my patience and deliberate thinking, our shared curiosity.

- Related, I hope our kids see that curiosity, growing our awareness about the world and others in it, building skills, etc. aren't just ends in themselves but also are how we develop principles for the kind of life we want to live. Whether they watch us treat others well and equally, not eat meat, be involved in our community, etc - I hope they'll see a strong connection between how we think and how we live. One of the best ways of doing that, I feel, is by building autonomy in them and letting them be part of making choices for our family - where we travel, what we do together, what expectations we have for our family life, etc. And also by continuing to strengthen the practices that we have with each other - being honest, listening, not being defensive, etc - and making sure that they see us treat each other this way, and that we treat them in the same way.

Makes me smile thinking about being on this journey with you :). Love you!


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