Some thoughts on communicating

A few things that have been on my mind today, since I'm thinking about the future and it's gotten me a bit down today. Feel free to add / edit...

Shorter can be better: There will be times when we want and need to have longer, deeper conversations, sometimes about us as a couple, sometimes about something else, sometimes about nothing at all. But in general I think that we should keep our conversations shorter and focus on details that matter rather than simply narrating our whole days. In my experience, too much time on the phone can make loneliness worse.

Regular, but not scheduled: It shouldn't feel forced, like we're calling out of routine rather than desire. But of course we'll need to talk relatively often. Exactly how often is something we'll have to be very deliberate about, and pay attention early on to what our pattern is, and what feels natural.

Dreaming might be best on paper: I appreciate how certain we both feel about a future together. I enjoy dreaming about it, though also want to be better about staying in the present. And, as we saw in our car ride, going too deep into the future will sometimes make me more worried than I need to be. I suggest we reserve a tag on the blog for thoughts about the future, so that these conversations can happen when both of us are able to think through and write back more deliberately. At least that's how I feel about my own communication. It gives me some space to think in a natural way, without the silence that frustrates you.

Varied! Everything from yoga to work discussions to sexy to movie nights to sad to D+M to just normal catching up. The more variety, the better.


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